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Looking for work-life balance? Consider the case AGAINST passion

Are you looking for better work-life balance? You may want to consider removing passion from the “work” side of the equation.

Ok check this out and bear with me. Time to talk about something that–*in my personal-yet-informed opinion*–has been glorified a little too much: passion for your job.

Like me, you’ve probably heard the advice a gang of times—“Follow your passion and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Sounds dreamy, right? But what if I told you that being passionate about your job might actually do more harm than good? What if by and large, it’s just not true for most of us?

Here’s the thing: Passion is like that extra shot of espresso in our morning coffee (I don’t actually drink coffee). It feels great at first, but too much of it, and you’re jittery, overextended, and teetering on the edge of burnout. And that’s just the start.

Ever noticed how companies always say they’re looking to hire “passionate” employees? There’s a reason for that. Passionate people are often willing to go the extra mile, take on more work, and do it all for less money. Why? Because they love what they do (or at least that’s what they tell themselves), and employers know it. But here’s the trick: this can lead to you being overworked, underpaid, and ultimately burned out. Your passion can very easily pave the way for your own exploitation.

Guess what! What you’re passionate about today might not be what lights your fire tomorrow!

Uh oh!

People change, and so do their interests. When your career is tied so closely to your passion, it’s easy to then tie your identity to your career. But what happens when that passion fades? You might find yourself stuck in a job that no longer excites you, but because you’ve built your whole identity around it, leaving feels odd. Weird. Scary. Confusing. You’re about to have an identity crisis.

Listen, passion is great, but it’s not a guaranteed ticket to success. Just because you love doing something doesn’t mean you’re actually good at it—or that the market will pay you for it. The cold, hard truth is that success in your career often hinges more on skills, adaptability, and understanding the market than it does on passion. Being good at something and knowing how to navigate the job market are just as—if not more—important than being passionate about your job.

Ever feel like your job is your whole life? That’s what happens when you’re too passionate–or behaving like you’re too passionate–about what you do. Your job becomes your identity, and any setback or irritation at work hits like a ton of bricks. How ever work is going, is how your life is going.

But here’s a wild thought: you’re more than your job. When you spread your interests across different areas of your life—whether it’s hobbies, relationships, or personal growth—you build a more resilient sense of self. This way, if work isn’t going great, it’s not the end of the world.

When you’re too passionate, you might find yourself with tunnel vision. You get so wrapped up in your work that you miss out on other opportunities—opportunities that could lead to growth, new experiences, or even a better job. Plus, being too focused on one thing can make you resistant to change, even when change is exactly what you need.

Instead of obsessing over finding a job you’re passionate about, how about focusing on finding a job that you’re good at, that pays well, and that gives you the freedom to pursue your passions outside of work? You can still live a passionate life, and it does not have to have anything to do with your job. The goal should be to create a balanced life where your job is just one piece of the puzzle, not the whole picture.

For the record, I’m not telling you any of the following things lol:

  • “Stop caring about your job.”
  • “Don’t take your job seriously.”
  • “Forget them people.”
  • “Work that feels purposeful is bad.”

I AM saying that, for some of you, it’ll likely be much easier for you to achieve your work-life balance goals if you adjust the passion setting on the “work” side of your equation. It just might be too high.

Haven’t announced this anywhere else yet, so you’re hearing it first! The prices of my coaching programs (click to see the options!) are set to go up toward the end of summer!

My job search people hear this from me all the time: Job searching is very hard and it is not an exercise in intuition.

So:

  • If you’ve been trying over and over and you’re not having the success you feel like you should be having (y’know…because you’re qualified and smart and skilled and likable)
  • If you know it’s time for the next step in your career, but you’re not sure how or where or when (now) to start
  • If you have all these transferable skills, but you’re having a hard time conveying them in a way that entices employers
  • If you’ve had people review your resume over and over, but you still can’t land any interviews…

Now is the time to come talk to me! I have support structures and journeys that will help you.

I’ll help you break down the chaotic experience of navigating the job search into something more organized and digestible, while providing you with the strategy and nuance you’ve been missing.

Swinging in the dark isn’t the way.

It’s 100% free to come talk to me, so sign up for your free consultation by August 30th to lock in the summer price.

You’ll save anywhere from $50-$300, so it’s well worth it.

Check out what a few others have said about their coaching experience:

“Brandon was awesome.  He really listened and didn’t just try to keep us on a timeline or a schedule. I got a new job [and] I think I’m going to be happier.”

-A.W.

“I’ve been raving about your sessions to all my network and friends. I can’t tell you enough how helpful they were – I felt confident and grounded going into the four (!) rounds of interviews to eventually land the job and pivot careers.”

-J.S.

“If you are looking to have a partner in what can often be a very lonely process of pivoting your career or looking for a new role and chapter of your existing career, Brandon offers as much support and guidance as you allow and invest in the process yourself.”

-Vanessa L.

Let’s do it! The fall is coming, so it’s time for us to get started. Click below to schedule your free consultation.

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Silencing Your Self-Saboteur: How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy in Your Career

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Job searching is hard enough. There’s just a lot to navigate:

  • Writing a great resume and cover letter
  • Networking well
  • Interviewing well
  • Finding the right jobs to apply for
  • 100s and 100s of other applicants competing for the same roles
  • Already working another job
  • Etc.

You have to finesse and fight your way through all that, and yet sometimes those might not even be the biggest hurdle.

The biggest hurdle for a lot of us when it comes to job searching–and really any major life or career goal–is Big Bad Us.

Ourselves.

Not the competition, not the resume, not the this or that.

YOU.

You are in your own way. You need to get out of it.

And that’s much easier said than done.

So. If you have a sneaking suspicion that you may have been in your own way, keep reading.

Usually, when we’re in our own way it’s because there’s some kind of internal block going on.

Let’s call them “gremlins.”

Here are the ones I usually see in the people I work with:

  • Imposter syndrome
  • Fear of failure
  • Lack of confidence

They manifest in phrases (internally or externally) like:

  • “I just don’t think I’m qualified.”
  • “Maybe one day I’ll have more time.”
  • “I’m procrastinating, I know.”
  • “I don’t have the confidence for that yet.”
  • “I’m worried I’ll make a mistake.”
  • “I’m just not sure what the right first step is.”
  • “What if it doesn’t work?”
  • “I’m not sure I’ll be able to do it.”

Any of this sound like you? You may have a little gremlin in your ear! That’s ok, most of us do.

If you have goals that you KNOW you really want to accomplish, but “for some reason” you keep putting it off, or refusing to fully acknowledge it, or the universe somehow just keeps getting in the way, you miiiiight have a gremlin.

You need to do something about it so you can get out of your own way.

The first step to getting out of your own way, though, is recognizing what the blockage is for you, and acknowledging that it’s actually there.

In other words, if you struggle with imposter syndrome, you have to admit that to yourself.

What that does is it allows you to more directly combat the problem and interrupt it.

Once you’ve identified what the blockage is, it’s important to understand some key things about it.

A lot of times, your gremlins are not actually real.

They may be based on real and valid concerns and experiences, but there’s probably not a whole lot of evidence that JUSTIFIES them being a substantial influence in your life.

For example, if you struggle with imposter syndrome holding you back from making a big career transition, that’s based on a valid concern, but the truth is you’re probably much closer to not being an imposter at all.

Have you ever really been an imposter before? 

→ “No, not really.”

Have you ever been hired or selected for something and subsequently exposed as a fraud?

→ “Not…that I can think of, no.”

Has anyone ever given you the feedback that your skills are trash?

→ “No.”

How do you know that your qualifications aren’t transferable?

→ “I don’t, I guess. I just don’t know that they are or how they’re transferable.”

Again, these are valid concerns. No one wants to be exposed as a fraud. No one wants to give their best shot at something that really matters to them, only to fall short.

But the point is that a lot of you have very little evidence in your history to point to–if any at all–that actually supports your imposter syndrome.

Will you have to learn some new things? Possibly.

Will you have to apply yourself and find out? Absolutely. So you need to get out of your own way and do that.

Which brings me to my next point:

That’s right, I said it!

You don’t have to vanquish your fear of failure, or your lack of confidence, or whatever it is.

You just have to learn to now allow it to make or influence your real world decisions.

Ever been to a park or something and seen a little kid in full tantrum mode because their dad is telling them it’s time to leave?

“nnnOOOO I don’t wanna leave!!! I wanna stay at the park! You’re a bad daddy!!”

The dad is just like “Nope it’s time to go home. We’re not staying at the park.” *stuffs kid in the car*

Exactly.

Your imposter syndrome is going to kick and scream and try to lure you into getting in the way.

Your lack of confidence is going to tell you you have to sleep at the park tonight because it’s safer there.

Your fear of failure is going to tell you you just don’t have enough time, energy, skill, or whatever else to get started.

And that’s ok.

You don’t have to throw it out the car. It just doesn’t get to drive and it doesn’t get to sit in the front seat.

It definitely does NOT get to tell you you’re sleeping in the park tonight.

You have to coach yourself into acting in the presence of whatever it is that’s causing you to get in your own way.

Once you get there, I bet you’ll start making some progress on those goals you got stashed in the back of your mind and heart.

This is hard.

If you want to talk to someone about it, come let me know. You can sign up for a free consultation with me when you’re ready.

I want you to sign up for my free email list! As you learn to start getting out of your own way when it comes to your career goals, you’ll need some new tools.

I’ll send you some good gravy that’ll help you navigate your job searches and career pivots.

You’re reading this, so I must’ve struck a nerve. This is your sign to start getting active.

Sign up today for some free coaching in your inbox and let’s make some moves.

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You can keep your career imposter syndrome

Imposter syndrome.

General lack of confidence.

Doubt.

Fear of the unknown.

A lot of us have dealt with–or are still dealing with–some sort of internalized challenge that has gotten in the way of our career progress.

And it sucks!

For those of you who know what I’m talking about, keep reading. I have a lesson I want to share with you that has helped me immensely.

In early March 2024 I was invited to a panel hosted at my alma mater to talk about how my Black identity has impacted my career trajectory.

It had me reflecting on things I don’t always directly think about. Definitely not recently. Lemme explain real quick.

I was a STEM student (still feel like I’m a STEM person deep down, but that’s another story). I majored in math and computer science at UC Santa Barbara. In the majority of my classes for my majors, I was the only black student. At most, I remember there being 1 or 2 others in some of them.

I remember being stared at when I walked into the classrooms. It was like one of those “Uhhh– oh snap I’m staring at him and he saw me” looks. Lol.

And get this! When I first started in computer science I didn’t even know what it actually was. But my peers definitely did. Many of them went to high schools that taught CS. Mine definitely did not, so I was kinda coming in behind.

Put all that together and what did it make? Say it with me–Imposter Syndrome! Still, I got pretty good.

Fast forward to now and I coach people on how to successfully navigate the job search process through the wonderful world that is Be Gallant Coaching. When I take a look at my fellow coaches, or when I’m in a space with other coaches, what do I see?

I’m almost invariably the youngest and the only black person. I’ve even had people point it out to me.

I still feel imposter syndrome from time to time.

BUT!

In that, there’s a lesson I’ve picked up over time that’s helped me make more progress faster. And it started back in my computer science and math days as an undergrad.

Ready for this? Here it is…

As long as I remember it’s not allowed to make or influence my real world decisions. 

Because guess what, yall? I’ve helped LOADS of people take the next step in their career.

I’m talking land jobs, pivot industries, negotiate better offers. The works.

I’ve empowered lots of people and the vast majority of them are BIPOC and/or underrepresented.

The messages things like my imposter syndrome tell me aren’t actually real. I feel them. They come from real things and experiences…but they’re not real.

So if you deal with imposter syndrome or lack of confidence or fear or whatever your “gremlin” is. Cool.

You can actually keep it. You don’t have to utterly vanquish it at all.

Just remember that it has to sit in the back seat, and under no circumstances does it get to touch the steering wheel.

Take some imperfect action today!

It’s time to get moving on your career goals, and if job searching is on the horizon for you, it’s time for you to identify your brand.

Your brand is what sets you apart from a competitive pool of people who are just as qualified as you are.

It’s what helps employers understand the transferability, value, and impact of your skills.

If you don’t know what your brand is right now, sign up below for info on how you can start to build it today.

Your skills and experience are valuable and transferable, especially if you’re coming from the education or non-profit worlds.

Stay Brave!

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Curious About Finding Work-Life Balance?

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Work-life balance. It’s an all-inclusive and sorta all-elusive term. We all want it, but many of us struggle to actually nail down that coveted sweet spot between professional responsibility and personal wellness.

Before getting into finding work-life balance, it makes sense to define it. The Cambridge Dictionary defines work-life balance as “the amount of time you spend doing your job compared with the amount of time you spend with your family and doing things you enjoy.”

A little simplistic for my taste, but hey it’s a start.

I’ve worked and spoken with lots of people who struggled with finding the right balance. And I think it’s almost mythical.

In real life, work-life balance often means different things to different people. Work-life integration might be more appropriate for some people, as their ideal is to mix work with life, simultaneously tending to both the professional and the personal throughout the day. Others may prefer a complete separation between the two, stepping out of one world to parachute into the other.

We each have to define our own sense of balance, and that’s hard. Still, here’s some tips to get you started.

CLARITY COMES WITH ACTION

Maybe you’re not sure what the ideal balance would actually look like for you. If that’s you, you’re not alone. But clarity comes with action. In other words, things start to get a little bit clearer as you begin to move.

Ask yourself this: Are there any things you can change right now that MIGHT lead to you feeling more balance in your life? Make a list of 3-5 things.

That might be a hard question to answer, but the good news is that you don’t have to get it right! The idea is to brainstorm some “low hanging fruit” options that you can try. As you move forward making conscious choices regarding the breakdown of your life and responsibilities, you’ll start to gain insight into what your ideal sense of balance might look like.

MAKE A PLAN AND SHARE IT

If you could structure your week in such a way that allows you to take care of your physical and mental well-being, and still take care of your other responsibilities, what would that look like? Maybe you don’t quite have the agency to make it perfect, but craft an imperfect plan and share it.

Share it with your friends and family so they know what to expect from you. Share it with your supervisor to seek their support in making the plan a reality as much as possible. If sharing it with someone would make bringing the plan to life easier, share it with them. You might not make everything in the plan a reality, but you might get closer to crafting a slightly more balanced life.

ACCEPT THAT THERE’S NO ONE RIGHT ANSWER

What works for others won’t necessarily work for you, and vice versa…

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Quick history lesson! The term work-life balance was coined in the mid 80s during the Women’s Liberation Movement as women fought for the right to maintain their job and still have time to take care of their families.

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How Can I Avoid Burnout?

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Sometimes you wake up and think, “I don’t wanna go to work today. I’m tired.”

And then sometimes you’re consistently thinking, “I don’t wanna go to work today. I’m TIRED.” 

Your energy is low.

You can’t focus.

You know what that sounds like? That sounds a little like burnout.

Here’s the thing: Burnout is sort of a normal experience that affects workers across the globe. But what is burnout?

According to the WHO, burnout is classified as an occupational phenomenon “resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed.” Additionally, there are 3 main dimensions of burnout:

  1. Feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion
  2. Increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job
  3. Reduced professional productivity

Let’s take a look at a few burnout statistics:

  • 75% of workers have experienced burnout, with 40% saying they’ve experienced burnout specifically during the pandemic. (FlexJobs)
  • Burnout especially affects Millennials, with 84% of respondents reporting burnout in their current position. (Deloitte)
  • 36% of employees said their organization isn’t doing anything to help with employee burnout. Awkward. (Eagle Hill Consulting)

Of course, burnout isn’t just a single image. Symptoms include:

  • Finding it difficult to concentrate
  • Increased cynicism at/about work
  • Low energy levels
  • Getting sick more often

Any of this sound familiar or relatable? If yes, you’re clearly not alone.

CAUSES AND REMEDIES

So what causes workplace burnout? It could be a variety of things, but common causes include:

  • Being overworked
  • Not being rewarded appropriately
  • Workplace values not aligned with personal values
  • Not finding meaning or significance in the work
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU’RE BURNED OUT?

Dealing with burnout in a healthy way can be tough. Here are some ways to go about it:

Identify the cause: When you have a better understanding of what’s at the root of your burnout, you put yourself in a better position to come up with strategies to manage it. In fact, sometimes just knowing what it is that’s burning you out can make you feel some relief.

Learn how to say “No”: Practice one of my favorite words: “Naw.” Sometimes, we say yes because we don’t want to disappoint people, or because we want to be seen as a hard worker. But learning to say no not only gives you the time and energy you need to focus on what’s essential, it could also result in that task being taken up by someone with more time, energy, AND investment.

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Next Issue on February 16th: Negotiating

The next issue of The Gravy will be released on February 16th. The topic: Negotiating. Subscribe below if you haven’t already!

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